JJ Parker 0:02
was a couple weeks ago, I had an employee come to me with a really interesting self observation.
Melissa Albers 0:09
I love it. Let's hear it. So
JJ Parker 0:10
he said that he was really struggling when he would have to tackle a technical issue, and then move into a management kind of meeting. Oh, right. Yeah. I'm just saying, gosh, it just feels really terrible. When I get into those meetings after I've been so deep in a technical problem. Yeah, it's like, that's super interesting. Yeah.
Melissa Albers 0:31
So he just was noticing how his energy was, like really clunky trying to make the transition? Yes. Yeah. It's really interesting. I think that happens to a lot of people, especially in leadership.
JJ Parker 0:40
Yep. Right. Because a lot of us do have to dive deep into a gnarly problem, and then pull our head out and engage with people. Right.
Melissa Albers 0:51
I just like to point out the number of really fun phrases JJ just said. Yeah, I think that's true. Like, and I think leadership too, we add the extra pressure of feeling like we have to go first, or be the great one, you know, the orator of all things. Very, very true. And that's really hard, especially if you're in a role in which there's a lot of analytics or technicalities. That's very true.
JJ Parker 1:11
Yeah. So switching energy between fat that deeper thinking and the people oriented stuff. Yeah, is what we're talking about. So let's talk through some tips like, yeah, okay, we actually switch between those different kinds of energy and be our best at both of them.
Melissa Albers 1:30
Yeah, well, the first thing that comes up for me is I feel like you have to almost check yourself before you go into the meeting, right? And we always say stuff like that. But I don't mean check yourself, like, you know, is my shirt tucked in, and that sort of thing. I mean, emotionally check in with yourself and say, Okay, I need to transition now. Like, I've been so ingrained in this, and I actually don't want to quit, because I'm in the middle of something. But it's really important for me to come out of that now. So that I can be with my group.
JJ Parker 1:57
Yep. One thing that I do is I actually schedule time between those kinds of activities. Like, I know that I can't go from technical problem solving. Yeah, into a people meeting, back to back, like, I need, like, 15 minutes. Yeah, reset.
Melissa Albers 2:18
Yeah, I love that. And I think, you know, that's, that is like a great piece of awareness, too. If you know that that's something that you need. Even if you don't have the luxury of 15 minutes. Even if you just reset yourself and give yourself that moment, it's going to make everything else easier going forward. For sure.
JJ Parker 2:36
The other thing is just thinking about who else is in that room, right? Yeah. Like, if I come into a meeting me with my leadership team, who's all a lot like me, right? Like, they kind of get it, right. They kind of get that, you know, maybe we were doing some, you know, analysis on something. And they know, like, when I come in a little bit sideways, but not everyone in the company does. That's right. Oh, it comes across Really? Weird.
Melissa Albers 3:07
Yeah, yeah. rails, it could also derail the whole purpose of the meeting, because you could get into that technical thing or get into the weeds on something. And then pretty soon, the whole reason for meeting has kind of gotten lost.
JJ Parker 3:21
It is interesting sometimes when, when you are working on something really detailed, right? Before a different kind of meeting. That next meeting just ends up getting into the same kind of energy that you're just that you just came from. Yeah. Does that make sense? Like, yeah, like flying back into? Like, what I was working on 15 minutes, right.
Melissa Albers 3:40
And then you actually end up being a little frustrated, right?
JJ Parker 3:43
Yep. So really, like, understanding who else is in that meeting? Right. Like, kind of like reading the room a little bit, like great phrase, like getting a sense of like, Okay, what are the other people need from me at this moment?
Melissa Albers 3:55
Yeah, right. That's right. Yeah, those are great tips. And what happens if you've already gotten in? And now you need to get out?
JJ Parker 4:04
Telling me here to observe after I've been an acid in the meeting, how we can back out of that a little bit. Not that that's happened.
Melissa Albers 4:11
So what would you do that and once you've done that, JJ,
JJ Parker 4:15
I genuinely apologize after Yeah, realize, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that that meeting didn't go so well. Or even
Melissa Albers 4:22
in the middle, like, as soon as you notice that you are, you know, we're kind of making it tongue in cheek a little bit. But it's really true. It's like, you know, like, all of a sudden, you can like ram into something. And then notice how everybody takes it and runs. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, you think, Oh, this is not going this way, right. It's totally fine to call it and just go Hey, timeout. I did this. Yeah, I'm really sorry. Let's try to refrain just
JJ Parker 4:46
own it. Right, totally. And what's interesting is, a lot of times, especially as a leader, you don't feel like you can actually just give a timeout and say, Hey, I'm not feeling it right now. Because you are expected to kind of Yeah, have your shit together. Yeah. It's okay to not
Melissa Albers 5:05
write it's more than okay to not because I think when people see your authenticity, it's way easier to listen to what you're saying and to be with you and whatever it is that you're working on.
JJ Parker 5:14
And to me that builds more credibility. Yeah. And yeah, the other
Melissa Albers 5:17
Yeah. So check your energy first. Like give yourself a moment to get into the into that mode that you want and the and the real, like what you're trying to solve in the new meeting and read the room. What's the second thing that we talked about? check in, like, Who are these people that are going to be talking with you and what is their energy? Like, what do they expect? How are they going to naturally respond to you? And then third, if you find that you've squirreled the meeting into a place that you didn't want it to be? Call it
JJ Parker 5:45