JJ Parker 0:02
Today, we're talking about giving feedback to your boss. Not easy, definitely not an easy task a lot of emotions when Yeah, we're giving feedback to our boss or, or anyone of influence anyone of influence in our organization. So let's go through just the process of what we're going to feel. Yeah. When we're in that situation. That's a
Melissa Albers 0:21
great point. And the first thing is how do you feel when you start you start to think about it, you know that you want to express something, maybe you don't think something's going well, and you want to really make a difference in the organization, but it's really, really normal to feel scared and nervous as you're formulating your thoughts to go in and speak
JJ Parker 0:40
now how many of us have been sitting like at our desk just thinking like, Okay, I got it. I got to get up. Yeah, I got to go to front the boss and just tell them, yeah, you know, some big heavy news. Yeah. And sitting there with that feeling. Yeah. Isn't that comfortable?
Melissa Albers 0:53
No, and it can shut a lot of people down and actually can make you behave or say things in a way that actually aren't the way that you were raised. Hoping to portray your message. Yeah. So I think the first part is really understanding that feeling nervous beforehand is super, super normal. And the second thing I think to realize is there are a number of things that you can do during that feedback that will impact your ability to be heard.
JJ Parker 1:17
So certainly getting yourself centered before you walk into that meeting is super important and completely normal that year. Yeah, feeling nervous. Now, when you're sitting there maybe with your boss, that's going to be a whole nother set of emotions, right? That that we feel. Sometimes it's a continuation of that nervousness. Sometimes though, I felt frustrated and like not feel like I've been heard right, like I might say something and instance met with like, okay, we had all this thought of, like, I've been thinking about this for the last four and a half days and and then off wasn't and this is it. So really I'm getting through that bit too as well. Yeah,
Melissa Albers 2:03
yeah, trust. And I think too, that the thing for you to be considering are all of us to consider when we have to give that feedback is to think about it like a sandwich. So on one end, as you start, you want to offer the conditions and circumstances of what you want to happen in the conversation. You want to put your best foot forward, even if you're giving feedback that is maybe not what you would consider favorable or not good stuff, you definitely have something in mind that you're hoping can occur as a result of this conversation. So you really want to make sure your own energy is right, having your own awareness of your emotions and your feelings and what it is that you're pushing out before you even say your words is really important. Once you get your message down, and you're able to have that conversation, always end in the exact same way. What is it that you're hoping will happen as a result of the conversation? Even if you are just assuming goodwill, you're smiling and you're saying I'm really looking forward to how this could look After we have this conversation or, or something like that,
JJ Parker 3:03
in my experience, a lot of times in a feedback situation, a lot of times you are trying to make the organization better. Yeah, something better for you something better for your team. Yes. Or something better for the company as a whole. So, really the intention, you know, most of the time is really good. So just really focus on your intention.
Melissa Albers 3:22
Yes. Right. And after you've had your conversation, and you leave that room, I think the most important thing to do
Unknown Speaker 3:30
is Oh, I said, the dumbest thing was I can't believe Why do I always should have said this. And I should have said that on I missed.
Melissa Albers 3:37
Gray. And I just think really, a very important thing to do is if you have self awareness in the entire journey, the experience of I want to give this feedback, what am I going to do to create the best way for me to do that and the best way to be heard, and then finishing strong with something positive, like I'm really looking forward to how this can help the organization or help my team or whatever it is. You No second guessing necessary. You've done your part you've, you've done it with goodwill, and it's time to keep going.
JJ Parker 4:05
Yep. And lastly, just remember your boss has a person too. Yeah. When they see the random calendar invite that says Like, JJ meets with Melissa about blah, blah, blah. They might be a little nervous too. Yeah. So just remember, they're a person. They go through the same emotional stuff. You do. Yes. And to give them some grace in that way, too.
Melissa Albers 4:29
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