Misreading Emails

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JJ Parker  0:02  
So Melissa, I want to talk about Miss reading emails, because I spend most of my day in my email or on our messaging app called slack. Yeah, I'm talking with my my colleagues. Sometimes I get emails that seem kind of crabby. Right? Yeah. And I think I probably send some emails that also seem kind of crabby yet. So, I wanted to talk about Miss reading context in that email, and texting.

Melissa Albers  0:36  
Yeah, that's a great topic. And I actually was wondering if you've ever noticed that your own mood seems to be projected onto all of your emails as you're going through them. So if I'm not in a great mood, when I'm hustling through my emails, everything has sort of a little bit of a crappier tone.

JJ Parker  0:53  
Oh, that's a really interesting idea, right. So if I'm maybe sitting down at the end of my day, Yeah, really out of energy, and I just need to get through some emails. I wonder if all those emails seem to be to maybe be a little more crabby than they normally would be?

Melissa Albers  1:13  
Yeah, yeah. And as we're talking about awareness, I think like, that's the number one thing first, check your own energy, right? Check your energy as you're reading things, check your energy as you're sending things because it really can make a big difference. Yeah.

JJ Parker  1:24  
So we talk a lot about when we're either getting or sending emails people's personality types, right? Yeah. Like, I'm very succinct. Yeah. So a lot of times I'll send an email that just says, okay, or got it or Yup. Right, which maybe is not very well received by someone who needs a little bit more detail or explanation about that. Yeah, that's right. And, and for me, I like a little more context around things. So I would prefer a little more explanation or not volumes, but I do like to have a little more. So just even in that difference, if you add your own state of awareness to it or your own mood to it that can really impact the success of that exchange. And if we think about who we're sending an email to, and their personality type, right, yeah, I've got a couple of colleagues that really need a lot of detail. So when I send that really short email, what that's comes back to me with is like, hey, I need a whole bunch more from you. And then I get kind of annoyed, right? So if I think about when I'm sending an email, like, okay, you know, John's gonna need a lot of detail. Yeah, when I respond to them put that detail in because it's gonna really shorten.

Melissa Albers  2:40  
Yeah, the exchange exchange, right, right. And I always say like, you can tell going back and forth, right? If something starts to become too long of an exchange, it could be text to like we keep saying email, but it could be really any written varieties. And you had mentioned your messaging system that you guys use. So it really is anything in writing, just absolutely noticing. First of all, what does that other person need from me? And how what do I need? Because if I can help that other person get their needs met first, then it's likely I'm going to get my stuff done in the speed and way that I need to get myself stuff done.

JJ Parker  3:13  
And you mentioned sometimes if an email exchange starts getting too long, yeah, what do we do?

Melissa Albers  3:19  
Yeah, right. I think for me, if the exchange is any longer than three tack at three texts or three emails, then it's time to go face to face or pick up the phone or something like that.

JJ Parker  3:30  
Pick up the phone. That sounds terrifying. Because I don't do that. But instead of that we use actually video conferencing a lot. So I've found that a lot of the times when something gets to back and forth, it is really good to just like, hop on a slack call. Yeah, boot up, zoom in and hop into a video chat. Because really, a lot of our communication is non verbal

Melissa Albers  3:57  
over 85% actually,

JJ Parker  3:59  
when we're only doing text exchanges. Think about how much information we're actually stripping away. Yeah, from our communication. That's all that context about our mood and how we're feeling and what we're trying to convey. So really, if we want to be effective communicators, we do have to use the other mediums. You know, email and chat is super fast. It's super convenient, right? We can do it kind of, I'd say asynchronously, like, I can just fire off messages at random parts of the day. But there is a lot of a lot of lost there. Yeah, there's a really think about that, especially if we're dealing with something that a topic that you know, maybe needs a parade of exchange is maybe sensitive or emotional. Yeah. And we want to convey that to that person, or

Melissa Albers  4:45  
timely as well, too. Sometimes. It's just a really quick timeframe. So yeah, those are all great. So just a quick, quick recap. Make sure you're checking your energy when you're reading stuff. And when you're sending self stuff out and assume goodwill. I didn't say say that but I always want to say, assume goodwill. And then also check your tone is that matching what your other teammates would really prefer so that you can get your needs met and they can get their needs met. And then also remember that these written communications never ever replace the connection that we have as people into if you can think about it like that, make your choices accordingly.

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