Wanting My Work Recognized

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JJ Parker  0:03  
Melissa, let's talk about having your work recognized. I think that topic we all, you know, we're working every day, we're doing projects. And a lot of times, we just really want that work that we're really proud of recognized by someone else. And sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesn't happen. Right. And that's a whole mix of feelings. Yeah.

Melissa Albers  0:26  
I think a lot of times too, like, right in there the feeling of feeling guilty that you want that, you know, like, a lot of times you just feel like, Oh, I want I really want this, but I don't want anybody to know, because that would make them look weak or not good. Or

JJ Parker  0:38  
like needy or something. Yeah. Lots of emotions around that. And that's all okay. Right? Yeah, not judging that at all. We just want to like, talk about it. Yeah, to recognize it. So let's start with when we're actually working on a project. You know, sometimes for me, I sit down, I'm really excited. And I start working on a project. And I feel like I'm doing a really good job on it. Yeah. And then I start getting a little mental, right? I'm like, well, it's pretty good. Maybe it's not that great. Well, is everyone gonna like it? Yeah. Am I on track here. And then you just sort of like start unraveling. And

Melissa Albers  1:14  
I have done that myself. Like, when I've had to create keynotes, I can't explain to I wait until the last minute, because I'm so anxious about making the wrong thing. So I will sit with it. And I'll work and work and work. And pretty soon I've got myself so stressed out that it's a terrible speech that I literally walk away and stop writing.

JJ Parker  1:30  
Right. So that really was the thing that stood in your way of delivering your best precisely. So that. So as we are doing our work, really checking in with ourselves thinking like, okay, am I starting to get into like a downward spiral with my thinking is pulling back and say, yeah, you know what? Yeah, I'm really good at my job. I do great work all the time. get right back into that moment. Yes. Right. Where you're just creating the flow you're creating. I agree, and all your best forex is gonna come out. And you don't have to worry about it so much.

Melissa Albers  2:03  
I couldn't agree with you more. Yeah, absolutely.

JJ Parker  2:06  
After I do my very best work. And I put it out there. What I really want sometimes is someone to come by and say, JJ, you did a great job on that. Right?

Unknown Speaker  2:16  
With a lot of fans, right?

JJ Parker  2:18  
Yeah. Like, maybe one of those like little popper things that does kind of funny and stuff. Right. But when I sometimes don't get that, and sometimes I actually get like, straight up. Nothing. Yeah, cricket. And I just think, Oh, no, did this whole things fall flat? Yeah. Is it me, like what happened here? And that's really hard.

Melissa Albers  2:40  
Yeah. And I think too, that it is so often in America and companies today, we often will be told if we're not doing a good job, like you can count on that. But it's very rare that we get told we're doing a good job. And so this is really this important piece about being aware and having the confidence in ourselves to produce things that we know is good. Yeah. And then when when if we're getting that feedback, or not externally recognizing that that is not necessarily not hearing anything doesn't mean bad.

JJ Parker  3:10  
Right, right. And just remembering like, hey, if you put forth your best effort, yes, be proud of that work yet that validation from like, within yourself, not from external people. Because really, that external validation, and that external recognition, it's not very reliable. And it happens or doesn't happen for things that are so far out your control, and oftentimes, so random, yeah, that you shouldn't correlate, right, those, those, you know, those points of recognition, like with your own value

Melissa Albers  3:45  
with your own value, exactly right. And then I think there are the times where you continually do produce that your best work, you're doing your thing, and you're happy with it. And yet, everything that you do put out there falls flat, and it leaves you with this feeling that it's just not satisfying. You don't have a content feeling anymore.

JJ Parker  4:02  
Like Yeah, you're maybe like not satisfied it, you're probably go to like, I'm really not very satisfied with my job,

Melissa Albers  4:08  
right. And it can happen too.

JJ Parker  4:10  
And so yeah, there we're talking about, like maybe a cultural mismatch, either with the company or in or with the role that you're maybe grown into.

Melissa Albers  4:22  
That's right. It's very rare that we're going to go to one job and stay there forever. It is much more normal for us to continually build off of what we just did grow and continue to get more and more. And when we reach these plateaus within organizations or within our roles, it is oftentimes because we have simply outgrown where we were when we started, which is a really wonderful thing when you think about it like that.

JJ Parker  4:45  
Yeah. Yep. So what are some takeaways? Yeah,

Melissa Albers  4:48  
so the quick the quick takeaways is when you're doing your work, focus on the work that you're doing and doing your best work. Don't be concerned with challenging or questioning yourself or worrying about what everybody else is going to think do our say around that project. Just go and do your thing. Number two is when you're having these moments and you're in the flow afterwards, if you've done your best work it does you no good to go backwards and to evaluate and reevaluate and reevaluate. Simply focus on I know I did my best work and I'm proud of that. And finally, if you do notice that you're getting into these loops where it just never is feeling good, it might be time to ask yourself, Is this a cultural fit for me still? Hey, Melissa,

JJ Parker  5:29  
those takeaways. Those were really good.

Melissa Albers  5:32  
You did such a good job on this session.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai