EP33 - What are you Going to Attract?

January 5, 2021
 

In this conversation we discuss the new year and the hope we have for growing in self awareness.

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Melissa Albers  0:00  
Hey everyone, you are listening to the self awareness journey podcast. This little banter is about a car ride long and features your hosts, JJ Parker, and Melissa Albers. JJ owns a tech company. And Melissa has been a coach working with influencers for the last 18 years.

JJ Parker  0:17  
While Melissa It's New Years 2021 finally 21 years old,

Melissa Albers  0:26  
it is done baby Preston fees, rest and it's not that peaceful at all whatsoever think

JJ Parker  0:35  
of that year again. Just move on. Well, I like this time of year, because, you know, New Year's always gives us time to like, reflect and yeah. And and. And then what I like more than the reflecting part is just thinking about what can happen in the next year. Yeah, the Yes, the planning and the daydreaming, the thinking that Yeah, all of the ceiling. What? What can be 2021? Why no. And then 2020. Next year,

Melissa Albers  1:11  
I am so I am so excited for this year, I'm so full of hope. And, and I'm so full of enthusiasm about what can be. Because I think that, you know, 2020 we've talked about that not not easy. But you know what I've always said in like coaching conversations, and just in my own life, it's like, actually, it's really hard to know, great happiness, if you have not experienced great sadness. You can't experience great highs and lows, unless you have also experienced equal and opposite lows. And if that's true 2021 can be so amazing. Yeah, there's

Unknown Speaker  2:01  
a

JJ Parker  2:04  
there's a lot of things. What there's a there's a really famous book about the tale of the allegory, what is that book? Oh,

Melissa Albers  2:15  
I have no idea. Normally I do know when you say books, but that one very obscure book.

JJ Parker  2:21  
Anyway, the whole idea is, is that you know, like you can't no good unless you know, bad can't know light unless you've seen darkness. Like if you just live your whole life in dark, you'd have no idea what light

Melissa Albers  2:33  
is. And the reverse is also true. So you try and be overly positive and optimistic and just live in light with no other awareness and anything else exists, you have nothing to compare it to. And it isn't like, so the ups and downs and

JJ Parker  2:45  
flows the lights and darks it's all part of

Melissa Albers  2:49  
Yeah, heard of it. It is it is.

JJ Parker  2:52  
So at work around this time. I publish what we call our vivid vision. Yep. which is how I see our company, this coming year, and a few years in the future. So yeah, it's like a strategic planning thing.

Melissa Albers  3:12  
Yeah, it is.

JJ Parker  3:13  
It's a little more. It's not quite like a plan. It's, it's it's more I see the future and how I want our company to be in the future.

Melissa Albers  3:27  
Yes. And and if I could just put a little context behind this for the listeners. This is the vivid vision that was an idea created by that Cameron, Herod, the CEO of got junk, and he created this really cool methodology and then you've taken it and plus one that and made it super awesome and more personalized. So that just gives a little context in case anyone's interested in checking this out further.

JJ Parker  3:55  
Well, that's an overstatement. Mostly what happened is I wrote some stuff, and then our wonderful graphic designer Amber, and it's so beautiful that it just tricks everyone to thinking it's brilliant.

Melissa Albers  4:07  
Amazing.

JJ Parker  4:10  
That's my secret. That's my secret to awesomeness is I just have her make everything look really beautiful. But in any case, here's the thing about the vivid vision is I've written it for many years in a row. The first few years, I wrote it, just like in a Word doc. never showed anybody.

Melissa Albers  4:33  
Yeah,

JJ Parker  4:34  
right. And what happened is, almost all of that came true. Like I thought I was writing crazy things. Right? Yeah, I thought there's no way we can trance transform this company and pivot this company in these ways. There's no way we're going to hit these financial goals, right? But I sat down and I visioned it and I and I wrote it down. Yeah, yep. And a year later, I went back and I the first time I wrote it, I actually forgot that I wrote it. Because this. Yeah, I think of my workout nature problem. That's real. I forgot. And I was like going through so Oh, yeah, I wrote that document. I opened it up. I was like, holy cow. So much of this came true. Yeah. And then eroded again. And almost all of that came true. Yeah. And now, I, then then I started like, well, maybe I should share that. So I shared it with the leadership team the next year. Mm hmm. And, yeah, shocking. It happened. And this last year, was the year that we published it as a printed book and gave it to everybody in the company. Mm hm. And that's obviously what we're gonna keep doing.

Melissa Albers  5:49  
Is this season again, now?

JJ Parker  5:51  
Yep. But what's amazing about that, what I think is amazing about that is when you put in those thoughts, right, and you put in that work to think about how you want your business or your life to be in the future. And you write it like it's happened, right? And you start really believing and feeling that you're already in that state, how those things start to become true. wire for your reality.

Melissa Albers  6:24  
Yep. Yes. And, you know, yours is a written model. And a lot of people have heard also of vision boards. It's the same context. Today's topic, by the way, which we never talked about was what we're gonna manifest in 2021. Yeah, we did. We're just got all excited to talk about this. But, you know, this is really an interesting conversation about the different ways that we do manifest our future. And I just love this idea of sitting down with yourself as your you've described, and writing yourself sort of a document. I don't know what else to call it, where you just envision what you see, and you write it as though it's already happened. That's the key piece. Yeah. And there's some really important reasons for that. But I just I love that how this vivid vision has become a playbook. For tightrope.

JJ Parker  7:23  
Yeah. And for me, I, you know, I started writing it more for myself, right? I thought, okay, if I can make my future reality look like this, I'd be awesome.

Melissa Albers  7:37  
Yeah.

JJ Parker  7:38  
But as I started sharing it with everybody in the company, what seemed to have happened is like, instead of just me, having that we all have that same shared vision and the power of like the entire team getting behind that is really amazing. It really, is 21 or 2020, even though it was bad in a lot of ways. We met all of the things in the book. And it was funny. Just a couple weeks ago, we had a big financial goal that we wanted to hit. And we hit it in November. Yeah. And it was like, it was in a funny way. It was in a funny way, because we weren't really even paying attention to that goal. But john, who's on my leadership team just posted in our slack chat app. Hey, did you guys notice we hit the goal? like, Whoa, we hit it. So it was is, is really fun. It's really fun. So let me

Melissa Albers  8:48  
ask you something. I have a couple questions for you. So why didn't you share it the first couple of years? What was your reaction?

JJ Parker  8:58  
I think the reason I didn't share it the first couple years is because I was probably a little embarrassed, maybe by it, like, Who Who am I to declare that all of this stuff is going to be true, or I wasn't confident that this was going to work? Right? And I just didn't want it to be like, Oh, yeah, JJ said we were going to be, you know, whatever, whatever million dollar company and we're going to have products that look like this and that, and we didn't. So I didn't want to be wrong. I think that was probably part of it. And honestly, I probably I probably didn't really believe in it.

Unknown Speaker  9:46  
Mm hmm.

JJ Parker  9:47  
That's kind of that's interesting, right. I don't think I'd believe that that would work that that would work. Right. So and as soon as I got a couple of years of it working. It was always

Melissa Albers  9:59  
Isn't that an Though like, that's why I was asking you because I think we all have a tendency to do that. It's like we deeply desire something, and we're so afraid of. We're so afraid to even admit to ourselves how much we desire it. We just want so much to have something and and then we make ourselves wrong for it, or we think we're not worthy of it. Or we think that we're making ourselves crazy by these thinking patterns like we but the mind games that happen after we have a deep desire about something is really important to notice.

JJ Parker  10:37  
Yeah, you said something that's super critical that we need to talk about. Because if my vivid vision stuff, my thinking around it, and my feeling around it isn't one of being in the state of ideas, I want to have a $10 million company. I'm just not in the state of wanting it is in the state of I have a $10 million company. Yeah. Like, yeah, like, because when we're talking about attracting things and the future vision, you have to be careful that that future vision and that feeling you have isn't one of desire, it is one of you already have it

Melissa Albers  11:26  
of the having of it. So are you to the writing of your of your vivid vision that

JJ Parker  11:30  
you read away is written the way I feel when I read it. Okay, right. Yeah, it's written in a way that and it and it cultivates a feeling of already happening.

Melissa Albers  11:42  
Yes. Right. Yes, and, and so this is a really important part. And this is one of the things that we have maybe talked about in the past, but I actually don't think we've titled a lot about that is when we are creating our own realities, which we do all the time. Every day, we're always creating our own environments and our own realities. When we're now talking about like, future set, like, what are we going to manifest for ourselves next? It isn't just the it is the words are very important, because like I always say, it's the emotional, spiritual, mental and physical bodies must be in alignment, to be in our centered space, in order to create whole holistically. It needs to be with that in mind. So yes, all those words have to be in place. Like they have to be intentionally and they have to be in the present, written in the present, even though you're manifesting it for your future. Yep. And then. And then this is where so many new year's resolutions and so many personal development products, Miss or don't complete for us. And that is because we stop there. So many people stop. They're like, Oh, here's our words, don't, you know, this is good enough? Like, I've got the words, and I'm just going to read this this words. But the feeling has to be in there. What is the feeling of the having what you want the feeling of the having of it? And those two things in combination, create and manifest like crazy?

JJ Parker  13:19  
Yeah, yeah. It took me it took me a while to really even get my brain around. The idea that if you're in a if you if you want something if you desire something, and All you think about is like, Oh, I really, you know, I really want that. I really want a new car. I want a new car. I want a new car. I wish you know, I wish I could have a new car. I want one. You'll just be in the state of wanting forever.

Melissa Albers  13:57  
Yeah, exactly.

JJ Parker  13:59  
Yeah, that's what you're manifesting. You're manifesting the feeling of feeling of want. Yeah. Not the feeling of have.

Melissa Albers  14:07  
Right. Right. Yeah. So we're talking about right now something that is called the law of attraction. And we are, you know, there's a lot of different ways that people exercise the law of attraction. One of the primary thought leaders of the law of attraction is abraham hicks. And for some of our listeners that are interested, check it out. Abraham Hicks, there are literally 1000s and 1000s of YouTube videos, little 15 minute clips or short clips of Abraham Hicks the law of attraction. And it seems a little out there to some people. There's also a book and a movie that was called the secret by Rhonda Byrne and that is actually based off the law of attraction, where much of her work came from Abraham Hicks. However it's

JJ Parker  14:57  
like two movies on netflix about The Law of Attraction once romantic cop, you know, sorry, quick and the other one is literally called the secret.

Melissa Albers  15:06  
Yeah, right. Right. And she has and Rhonda calls the secret is the law of attraction and how to manifest whatever it is you want, by combining your thoughts and your feelings into a state of being. And so like, that's how I've spent a lot of my last few years, as I've been developing myself, and, and actually, that's where the self awareness journey began. If I'm completely transparent, like that's where it began is I started noticing these big gaps in myself that were preventing me from being able to fully manifest what it is that I really love and what I really, really deserve to have and enjoy having and enjoy being.

JJ Parker  15:49  
Yeah, well, it's really, it's really interesting to listen to some of these philosophers talk about this other way of thinking and, and your thinking patterns and your and, and your feelings. I really like Alan Watts, who is, again, kind of like a, I don't know what he is. He's, he's a guy from the 60s, he, I think he builds himself as a spiritual entertainer or something. Yeah, but he's like a, he's like a philosopher. He talks about different things. But the way he talks about people and you as an individual and the universe and how everything is connected, and how the universe can, like works through you, and how you're creating the reality around you all the time, whether you're aware of it or not. I think it's really interesting. So yeah, the idea that you're Are you being purposeful about creating the life around you and the experience that you want? Or are you just like on autopilot, letting it all unfold and

Melissa Albers  17:11  
thinking that the world is doing this to you? Yes, like, Oh, I just, I'm so unlucky. I can't having all of these experiences. The world is an awful place. Yeah, the world is happening to me. I'm not happening to the

JJ Parker  17:25  
world, right? So yeah, it's a one eight, it's, like you said, it's the it's the light in the dark. It's the same coin. It's just a different side.

Melissa Albers  17:32  
Yeah, I actually, I actually, again, from Abraham Hicks, they talk very much about any subject is like a stick, like picture like you're holding a stick. And on one end of the stick is the having of that subject. And on the other end of the stick is the lack of, and whenever we have topics, like even if it's our desires, like oh, my gosh, I just want, like, we just finished a huge remodel project in our house. And that is something that I really focused on strongly in this whole. You know, like, manifestation stuff, I really practiced that. But for many years, I practiced it, but I practice the lack of, Oh, I wish someday this could happen. This would be so great to happen. And here, I thought it's being really positive and optimistic. But I was actually living in the not having it and wishing that I would. And all this time, I was fully resourced to have it, I was fully resourced to have it. But my mind was telling me, I wasn't ready, or I didn't deserve to have it or, or whatever it could be. And, and so that, that that's like a real example of how something that was so desired, was like a five year project. And actually, when we decided to do it, it was 11 weeks. Hmm. So things can happen really, really, really fast. If you're in alignment with what it is that you want. And that desire body is strongly pulling you towards the goal that it is that you want, and everything is in alignment alignment.

JJ Parker  19:01  
Yeah.

Melissa Albers  19:02  
I want to give one really big example of how this can work, because they think it's really funny.

JJ Parker  19:10  
So patiently, excitedly waiting.

Melissa Albers  19:13  
So I, as you know, some people are familiar with the name, john Maxwell. JOHN Maxwell is a huge thought leader in leadership development. And he has several companies. He's very well known. And in my mind, I really wanted to be like, I really wanted to be on stage with john Maxwell. And I put it out there I created vision boards with pictures of john Maxwell. And then I wanted it so badly. And and suddenly somebody said, Oh, hey, there's a there's a coaching program with him. You should check it out. And that happened within a day of me like putting out there I bought a book put your dreams to the test, which is also a manifestation. But your dream self test is a john Maxwell book. I bought that book and the next day somebody called me and said hey, they This whole program you should check out, which I never knew about. Fast forward one year, not only was I on the team, I rose to the top of the team, there were 18,000 members, okay. And towards the end of that whole experience, I wanted to be on stage with john, I took a picture of john with his team that was on the internet. And I cut out one of the faces and I put my own right next to it. And I made a new photo. And I sent it to the leadership team of the, of the coaching company. And, and the next thing you know, fast forward about a year and a half, I was on stage with john not once, not twice, multiple times. And I know john now.

JJ Parker  20:52  
Yeah, that's awesome.

Melissa Albers  20:53  
So it and and, and, by the way, I'm not active in that team anymore for because I've moved on to new things. So like, this was at the time, though, that was so important. And I just put it out there. And I was I had a burning desire no matter what, that's what I wanted. And I manifested that experience, through doing ridiculous things, like putting my picture on the face of someone standing next to him. So I constantly had that image to remind him of how important it was to me. Yeah. Isn't that crazy?

JJ Parker  21:23  
It's a little creepy.

Well, what's interesting that that story is particularly funny, because it is, I think there's like, probably, like a Hollywood created, you know, stereotype around, you know, oh, it's all laced in your face. Somebody. But, but it's a good example of how that visioning can work. Yeah, vision, like vision. Vision boards are really cool. I mean, just the idea that you, you, you put in front of you every day. Yeah, your future state and you think about it like you have it.

Melissa Albers  22:09  
Yeah. And you did the same thing with your writing. So depending on what kind of personality styles, you know, there's a lot of different ways that you can begin to really manifest what what it is that you desire. So I just want to I want to ask, like, what are you kind of thinking about for, for 2021? Do you have any examples? Do you have any specific things that you want to manifest for? 2021?

JJ Parker  22:35  
Well, Melissa, you'd have to wait till the book comes out. Oh, darn

Melissa Albers  22:38  
it, you

Unknown Speaker  22:39  
don't get a sneak preview? Oh, you know, yeah,

Melissa Albers  22:42  
that's right.

JJ Parker  22:45  
Well, I be I'm not telling you what's going to be in my super awesome vision book, actually. Probably because I'm not gonna tell you cuz I'm not actually done with it.

Melissa Albers  22:55  
Ah, so it turns out, you haven't actually manifested it yet. Even on a writing,

JJ Parker  23:01  
right. What's, what are we gonna manifest shortly? is a done vision book.

Melissa Albers  23:08  
Okay, well see. That's good. That's good. So I want to I'll give you a couple of examples, right? Because I think that these are kind of these are kind of one is a little more subtle, but it's extremely meaningful. And it's a huge, it's a huge game changer. So one of the things that I want to manifest for me this year, is what I actually manifested last year, too, but I want to do it again this year, and to be even more intentional. So last year, at the beginning of the year, I put out this goal, it was sort of a prayer manifestation, a goal in which I said, Any one, in any situation that I am meant to touch this year, please bring to me. And let me do the best work that I can for that. Whatever it is, if it's a personal project, was very different about that is rather than saying, I'm going to have this many new clients, I'm going to make this money. I felt that that began to be too limiting, because what I might manifest is only a fraction of what I'm capable of manifesting. So I've actually changed the dynamic a little bit in terms of what I'm asking for. So I just continually sort of have that mantra. And I have had some of the most profoundly amazing experiences come to me this year in which I had no awareness, we're out there. And I know it's because I continue to stay really, really open. Like right now I'm getting to talk with someone that lives in. I have a client that's in Paris. Like how cool is that? You know, I have a client that is an MIT grad that makes beautiful, huge artwork. And how cool is that like, things that I would never, ever put myself in had I just created such a starchy goal, I just am manifesting situations in which I'll be able to do my best work for those people and those scenarios. So I'm really working on that for this year. But what I'm doing differently is I'm going on what I call a positive rampage. Wait for it.

JJ Parker  25:24  
So we'd get out of my way,

Melissa Albers  25:26  
we might lose a bunch of listeners after this episode, I think we're just gonna have to be okay with that. But like, every single morning, I begin with this, I am so grateful to have what I have, I am so happy in the life that I have, I am so lucky that the people that I don't even know about that are coming to me are going to enrich my life and I'm going to be able to help them and that feels so good to be in these kinds of relationships. And I look forward to the financial abundance greater than I even knew I love having this financial abundance. Now, I love the feeling of being able to support food shelves and stuff, which I've been doing a lot of, it's so much fun to be able to do that I love the feeling of being able being able to do even more of that in 2021. So I will literally just put myself into that sort of state, after I've put forth sort of something that I'm looking to manifest. So other people might find that an interesting thing to try doing. And if they have more specific questions, I would really encourage them to reach out on our Facebook page, the self awareness journey, or, or send us an email or something about that. But if that really works, and it's been super fun.

JJ Parker  26:37  
Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, personal mantras and doing those things every morning is great. The one thing you also said that I love is that that you stay open to whatever comes right. And I think that's a really important part of being in this state of attraction is that is that you're open to all sorts of ways that things might come to you. Right. And they might not come in the way you expected or thought. Yeah, right. But they come and just have to be Oh, make sure you're open to it and not deflecting them.

Melissa Albers  27:21  
Exactly right. Because they come in those manifestations once you really get your your mind and your heart together. It's powerful, how quickly things happen. And you're right, like being open to the experience of what is I love that you're so right on that.

JJ Parker  27:39  
Well, this is great. I hope everyone is able to take something and think about prospects coming here and see what they can attract.

Melissa Albers  27:48  
Yeah, and and I just think like this is above and beyond like goal setting, right? This is sort of like a manifesting a new way to be and it's so much fun to have even slight incremental increases in your awareness where you notice things are happening. I always say even if you do 5% difference to something and you see that it's working. It's so amazing. If you've enjoyed this podcast, check us out on the web at the self awareness journey.com You can also find us on LinkedIn and Facebook